As I work my way through Personal Statements one type of comment I’m making over and over again is to be more specific about experiences you are referring to.
For example if you say you have done work experience somewhere, you should indicate how frequently, for how long, how it was organised (totally your own initiative? drawing on family contacts?).
And don’t only be specific about the experience itself, but about what you gained from it. “This helped me develop team work skills” or whatever always sounds a bit lame. Tie it down to particulars. Every time.